Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Stillness

If you know me, you know that I do not like to be still.  I am bad at stillness.  I prefer to run around or stay in motion or chat or simply do something.  If you've known me during my pregnancy, you know that I adore my doctors.  And therein lies the problem.

Me: When can I up my activity level?
Dr: It takes 6 weeks to recover from a c-section
Me: So I can walk now, right?
Dr: You can walk as much as it takes to get through your normal life.
Me: (Spotting a loophole, as my "normal life" is more active than most) Oh good, so I can take Ellie for walks when she gets home?
Dr: You can take a short, slow stroll with Ellie when she gets home.  SHORT.  SLOW.

Actually, I think my doctor is kind of a jerk at this point.

Me: OK, well, how much can I lift?
Dr: 10 pounds.
Me: That's NOTHING
Dr: You can bargain all you want, but you are NOT working out 2 weeks after a c-section.

Yep, he's a jerk.  Or... maybe I am bad at rest.  At stillness.  At waiting.  At patience.

As Ellie gets closer to her homecoming, all I want is to show our baby girl the world.  All she's seen are NICUs and an ambulance.  I want her to see playgrounds and parks, cherry blossoms and psycho squirrels, neighborhood kids, and our home.  I want to take her running or walking in the B.O.B.  I have been patient for too much recently: waiting for Ellie, waiting for her to come home, waiting through surgery, waiting for her to eat.  I can be patient with Ellie.  However, I am far less patient with myself. 

Pretty please, can't I just walk a couple miles?
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3 comments:

  1. I can feel your pain! I've gone through similar things. When I had my first (I have 3), I had some problems with even walking, so I was on the "disabled" list for a few months (just some walking). I am now having back problems and am not running much either. It is sooo hard, and my mood is affected by this! You will be back at it eventually!

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  2. Hi I am a new follower and wanted to introduce myself. I wish you luck and gods blessing through all these journies.

    my daughter was born 6.5 weeks early and stayed in the NICO for 4 weeks she is 3.5 now and about a month ago was diagnosed with Williams Syndrome a rare genetic order.

    Im here if you ever need to vent

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  3. You sound like my mom. Doctor told her not to drive after surgery. She said something along the lines of "get real". He said "okay, just don't drive to Richmond". What does she do the next day? Drive to Richmond.

    :) Jen

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